De Cosas Perdidas y Tristezas Compartidas

"Daba rabia, porque se habían querido tanto y de tan distinto modo durante los doscientos años que tenían de conocerse que era una lástima separarse así, como si nada.
Doscientos años decía ella, porque con el tiempo adquirió la certeza de que así había sido. Su fe en el absoluto era tan rara que iba tomando cosas de cuanta religión tuvo a la mano, y eso de las varias vidas, de las almas jóvenes y las almas viejas, le gusto desde que se lo dijeron como una verdad tramada con hilos de plata"
"Quien sabe por qué la vida suele ponerles trampas a quienes mirados desde afuera no pueden ser sino pareja el resto de sus vidas, pero se ha dicho que tal sucede y está visto que no solo ellos, sino algo del mundo se entristece cuando se pierden uno al otro"
(Angeles Mastreta)

Más que aquello que otros dicen, Dear Void, hoy no tengo nada que contar. Más que esto que hoy siento, no tengo espacio para sentir ni un poquito más; pero como ya ni vale la pena seguir amasando "esto" que siento, solo te dejo con esta gota de esperanza:
Quiero creer que es verdad, que hoy el mundo se despertó un poco mas triste.

No quiero una respuesta. No quiero saber si es verdad. Solo es una simple gota lanzada al cosmos.
So  good night, Dear Void.

Of Season Agendas and Unkept Promises

Are you going to love me when the winter comes? She asks.
He replies all matter-of-factly that he would.

For both of them, being alone in the winter was an alternative repulsive enough to make them try harder and stay together.

One good day she woke up just as you do when you've had a nightmare: head spinning around, heart pumping as if you were being chased, jaw pressing your teeth, fists as if ready for a fight. Without opening her eyes she scanned her body trying to let it all sink in.
Then it all did.

It was that day of the year she'd been waiting for several months now. The first day in the entire year the chillness under the covers lets her know Winter finally arrived. For a split second she drew a smile on her face but then the excitement quickly turned bittersweet.
She opened her eyes, stretched her arms, and at that moment she remembered that thing she allower herself to forget every night before falling asleep.
Maybe if I forget he's gone... Maybe tonight we'll meet in our dreams, so maytbe tomorrow I'll miss him a little less. She'd say to herself.
And the morning came along with the realizatin of the emptiness on the other half of her bed.

Maybe, Dear Void, this is her fault.
For not embracing the moment. For not seizing the day.
If was hot when they were together. But what about the winter? Will you still love me then? If he was honest hes answer back then would be: Well... I'm not sure.
Did she want to hear that? Probably not. So why ask?

But wait... Wait.
The lesson behind this story is not to find the guilty party, or fell sorry for her.
Instead, it is about using this experience to at least get a little closer to finding that little thin line between living the present, enjoying the here-and-now, and planning and worrying about the future.
It is about control. How much of the game of life is in one's hands, and how much of it we just have to hope for the best and accept what E has in store for us.
I'm terrible at this. The let it be part, I'm not of any use for  her, so if you have any clue on how to help me solve this riddle: tell me, show me: does she even has the right to ask? ask for more, ask for honesty, ask for another day, ask for another season?

Tonight, specially tonight I do need an answer, so please whisper it to me while I ask E for another dream. Good night, Dear Void.